One word – two synonyms

This is a criticism on the german word ‘Opfer’, because it means sacrifice and victim at the same time. Till now noone ever tried to solve this. And with Walther’s death, I remember also somebody telling me about ‘Opfer’. He said: There are creatures born as ‘Opfer’ and they don’t feel pain. This happened in 2006 and I still think about it. I try to understand what he wanted to explain. Was he religious? I didn’t ask. Did he want to sooth my pain? I didn’t ask. After he said that I couldn’t hear him anymore. Why? I can tell you why.

In some lifes a moment occurs between life and an imagination of death and one wakes up with a thick long red snake hanging from his nose to his knees. The pain raises the roof, warps through the body and screams in the back of the head. Still, one is watching to secure the inner world while one side slips away. I am watching this little mouse in my hand, a memory again. Walther caught it in the backyard and tried to eat it with his old teeth, not sharp enough to kill it. After playing for a while I took the mouse, actually to save it. ‘To save it’ – what a paradox. How could I save this mouse, while thinking of its pain and death.

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~ by Goezde on 02/10/2015.

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