Memories are so strong. Sometimes it is hard to go on without being reminded of a lovely being who disappeared in the afterworld. It is like a phantom for a visit who brought some grief like a bouquet of flowers in different colors, so vivid. Grief which altered through time and immingled with other memories and a wish to make it not-happened or unreal.

Lying in bed – thinking for the first time coming back from a journey without having to pick up Walther somewhere.
walther_2005Saw him on the terrasse – He had a stroke in his left hindleg, or maybe it was the paralyzing pain caused by his kidneys. Or did he fell?
He tried to run towards me – i was sitting there, looking at him – couldn’t believe what was coming next.
He fell – He fell on his tooth, on his beautiful long vampire tooth.
I took him on my lap – he was so dizzy from the pain. I really didn’t know what to do. How could I help? How? And what would I do with some magic? For just a moment when I tried to change my thoughts, the moment I could let go, I felt his last three heartbeats and the wish ‘Take me with you.’ Few days later I had a stroke and nine years to this moment.

Hey, listen,
listen carefully to the pain,
while we are here.
together we will be.
– again I tell
listen, listen carefully to the wind
while we are lying on the ground
together we will be one

While others can so easily stamp on one’s memories, regardless of their own to come, the real Unreal appears.

in remembrance of Walther, my precious – died in November 2006
We can’t go back in time to change nor delete memories.


~ by Goezde on 2015/02/10 Tuesday.

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